Benefits from my Counseling Sessions

I bought shorts for the first time in a year or two, and I've actually worn them out and about, around other people. They're denim too. And I'm so happy I did. I was so nervous about chub rub, thigh muffin top, and the new stretch marks that have appeared on my butt and thighs. But, it was so freeing to be able to wear them. To let the sun touch my skin, to show off my beautiful tattoo. To simply not be dying from the Louisiana heat and humidity in the summertime.

I even got a kickass tie-dye open back tank top to wear as well, and I feel amazing in it. Even though, sometimes I feel like my arms look too big. But the more I wear it, the more I enjoy just being in comfortable clothes instead of focusing on my arms.

I've started seeing a counselor again. Learning new techniques to manage my anxiety, stress, and anger. And I love her death. Her office is straight-up like walking into a grandma's house. Hand-knitted signs for every door, doilies on every table, and the intimately familiar but unnameable smell of a grandparent's home. She is straightforward, and she gives me exercises, and homework on paper and they are very concrete.

I'm learning to separate my thoughts from my feelings, to remind myself that feelings do come and go, so when I feel like everything is hopeless and doom like that it will pass. And she also reminded me to focus on what I do for others. Not at the expense of my own self-care or happiness, but simply to remember that I need to fill the love-tanks of those in my life as well and if I simply focus on my own love-tank that the others in my life will feel neglected by me which will not do my relationships any favors.

It helps because when I focus on how I can show others that I love them, I get shown how much I'm loved back. And it also (gently) reminds me that the world is not centered around me. 

It is an interesting thing to learn to balance though. I have to push through certain things such as just being tired, or simply being anxious to actually go out and hang out with others, or the very scary feeling of reaching out and saying hello to strangers and hoping they say hello back. But I also have to know when I genuinely need to take care of myself and to take time away from others.

Oddly enough it helps with my anxiety and depression too, because I'm not just getting dragged down in my own thoughts all the time, and being there for others reminds me that I'm not helpless, worthless, or unwanted.

While I'm seeing my counselor right now through an EAP program, and my amount of free sessions is quickly winding down, I do plan to continue seeing her on a quarterly basis, because if anything, counseling reminds me of how freaking amazing it is.

If you need help finding a counselor good therapy, and psychology today are both great websites to start your search. If you need help with the cost of seeing a counselor your work may provide a similar employee assistance program (EAP) or you can check out this site as well for help finding reduced/free counseling.

How do you balance caring for yourself, and caring for others in your life? Let me know by leaving a comment!