Birthday knowledge

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

My birthday was Tuesday, so shout-out to all my other Capricorns, cause we rock!

So I figured it was only appropriate to share tips and tidbits that I have learned on my body positive journey from the past year.

1. The way you eat when you first give up dieting doesn't last forever.

When you finally give yourself unconditional permission to eat, your body hops into a tad of an overdrive. Almost like a child, it is testing the water and making sure you really mean unconditional permission for anything.

So while at first it may feel like all you are eating is ice cream, sugar cookies, and cereal, it will balance out.  I remember the surprise I felt when I realizeed that I was hungry for crunchy lettuce on a sandwich.  And it tasted amazing.

2. Treat and reward yourself as you are now.

I hadn't seriously bought new clothes for myself (like fun going out clothes, etc) in several years, beacause I didn't see the point in it if I was just going to lose weight. So I thought I would just wait for my goal weight before buying any more clothes. And then of course throwing out any clothes that were too baggy as a sad attempt to discourage weight gain (because that's totally how weight gain works!)

But this year I wanted to use the christmas money I was gifted to go buy clothes that made me feel sexy, made me look good, and most importantly fit my body as it was today. Not based on a future me, not clothes so tight that instead of enjoying them it would just be a reminder that I needed to lose more weight before I could really enjoy myself.

Just remember that if you want some nice clothes, if you want to treat yourself to a spa day, or if you just want to buy yourself a little something at the cafe, don't feel like you can't have nice things just because your body is not where you wish it was. So next time you see a cute pair of underwear, or an adorable pair of earrings get them.  You still deserve nice things, no matter where you and your body are at.

3. Understanding that body positivity is NOT limited to weight

I used to think that body positivity was solely in the realm of weight acceptance.  And it isn't. Body positivity also includes people who have disabled bodies, bodies in transition, and bodies that are not white, cis-normative, or abled.

It includes things such as making sure there is wheelchair access in the world around you, and that everyone has a safe environment where they do not feel attacked or unsafe.

It also includes the language we use in the body positive movement as well. For instance, I thought body positivity meant not wanting to change your body, and I later realized that that is very limiting to the trans community of people who do want to change their bodies to reflect better on who they are.

And most importantly body positivity is NOT limited to feelings.  It is also about fighting for equal opportunity rights for trans and no-binary people. Equal access to buildings and jobs for those who have disabilities and other physical limitations. And fighting against discrimination against people based on these things as well as their size.

Body positivity is not just personal, it is political, and it involves the community.

4. You have to change the world you see.

As I have been progressing through my own body positive journey, I started to realize how thin, white and cis-normative my social media feed was. Here I was, spouting body positivity and yet I still wasn't hearing/seeing stories from people who are affected the most by size discrimination, transphobia, or racism.

So I have had to make an effort to make sure I am following the people who are the main voices of these stories, and by seeking out blogs, and other social media forms that are made and produced by these voices. Because I want to promote and listen to the people whose voices should be heard.

By changing the world you see you will discover your own short-comings and bias that come towards different body sizes, abilities, colors, and identities. For us to move forward in the world we have to confront these within ourselves so that we can start moving towards a better future.

5. You will find out that you are hiding a bunch of shit behind your desire to lose weight.

This one surprised me. I knew that I would be able to more productive, and focus on things that would actually improve my life; when I wasn't focused on making sure that the scale was a lower number in the morning. But I didn't expect all this other crap to float to the surface.

For instance, now that I am in a better place with my body, and I'm trusting it's cues when it tells me it's hungry, or tired or thirsty; I'm now starting to realize how much I haven't been trusting my emotions for the past year or so.

Only now, without the noise and focus on weight, am I starting to see how much I don't trust my emotions. I'm realizing that I've blcoked myself from really connecting with others out of fear of rejection, and how I avoid music and movies that might have sad moments because I don't want to feel sad, because I don't trust myself when I feel sad. I'm so used to my emotions becoming so overwhelming that instead of learning to work with my emotions that I just shut them down instead.

6. Learning to trust your body is a long, and sometimes uncomfortable, process. 

So many of us have been taught our entire lives to not trust our body. Whether being told we can't actually be hungry because we just ate, being told to push past pain to exercise, or that we aren't really tired, just lazy. 

Other than when to go to the bathroom, we have been taught at every other turn to not trust what our body wants, feels, or communicates to us. We have been taught that our body is something to be at war with for all time. It is disgusting, animalistic and unrefined. We must beat it, starve it, and work it into submission, because to listen to, or obey your body is essentially failure. It must produce at all times, it must be "healthy" at all times, and it must conform to what idiologiey (no matter how ridiculous) at all times. 

Learning to trust our bodies signals again takes time. We are going from a dominating relationship with our body to an inter-dependent relationship. And that takes a lot of time, effort, and mistakes. But, we will get there. 

7. You realize how ridiculous it is to use weight as a measure of health.

Seriously, it is.  I used to think that it was one of the best markers of health, but looking at the research, the long term effects, and the simple failure rate of weight maintenance, it just becomes more and more clear that using weight as a health marker is just as ridiculous as using our height as a health marker. 

Getting mad at our bodies (or others) for not conforming to a certain weight is just as inane as being upset at your body for not getting taller or shorter at your command. Your body has a set height, and your body has a weight it is comfortable at. And I'm tired of fighitng my body over what it needs, what it is naturally comfortable at, and I'm tired of putting the mental strain and punishment on my body for things like that. 

8. You deserve to be happy as you are. 

This took a while for me to understand, but it becomes more and more true the longer I stick with intuitive eating and body positivity. 

I deserve to be happy, to be treated with respect, to be loved, valued, and supported exactly as I am now, and however my body changes in the future. 

Happiness is not something you have to earn, self-love does not come at the price of your mental health, or your physical well-being.  Treating your body with respect does not include weighing it every day, and restricting foods for the sake of a pound or two.

So here is to another awesome year of growing, learning, and happiness. I'm so happy that I started this blog, and I'm so glad that I have been able to share my journey with you guys. I hope I am helping you on your own journey.

PLUR-2018. 

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What are you starting to learn for yourself on your intuitive eating journey? I would love to hear your experiences! Just let me know in the comments!